SAYA - Saya Gray

By Enya Xiang

SAYA is the creation and reflection of an artist who has an unusual but extraordinary amount of creative autonomy. Not only is Saya Gray a vocalist and producer, but she claims instrumental credits which include but are not exclusive to guitar, bass, synths, and violin. “There's not many female producers. I was looking at working with other producers, and it wasn't until the fates only aligned to me doing it that I was like, ‘You know what? Why not just do this and see how far I can take [it]?’” Gray explains in an Exclaim! interview.

Following a breakup, the Japanese-Canadian artist ventured on a solo roadtrip through Japan in 2023. With an acoustic guitar as a companion, the concepts of SAYA began to form. Amidst her grief of love lost, Gray digs deep within herself to rediscover her passions and drivers. Rather than solely a breakup album, SAYA became an anthem celebrating change and rebirth. “This is a record for your transitions (emotional, spiritual and physical), for your heartbreaks, and journeys from Point A to B,” she declares in an Instagram post announcing the album. Gray into resurrection and self-discovering in this eclectic art-pop pilgrimage.

For Gray, her breakup is a form of self-liberation. In opener ‘..THUS IS WHY’, Gray mourns her relationship but remembers her former lifeless state. “I came to you flesh-toned. Origami, I fold,” her voice trills as she transforms into a paper figure, a doll. She breaks out from her stupor in ‘SHELL ( OF A MAN )’ and declares, “This will be the last song about you and your voodoo doll fetish.” The single with its playful country spirit intentionally undermines matrimonial imagery. “Speak now, or forever hold your peace,” she demands, not from the wedding altar, but nodding to a chapter closing forever.

For self-preservation, Gray must sever herself from her possessive counterpart. In ‘HOW LONG CAN YOU KEEP UP A LIE?’, she portrays herself as a martyr worshipping her former lover: “You tap my temple, test my faith.” An angel appears to her in this bittersweet love song, an experience which allows her to heal and forgive. “I create, I don’t maintain,” Gray proclaims in the final stanza, seeking within herself vitality and strength.

Gray wavers as she navigates loneliness in ‘H.B.W’, an acronym for ‘Heartbreak Wave’. Gentle vocals struggle against zealous chanting, creating a sense of urgency among pounding drums and brisk harp cords. “Woke up in a h-,” she sings softly but interrupting herself, “Are you more lonely than last year?” She describes laying flowers in a graveyard in her dreams as she mourns loss but recognizes its finality.

The relationship is dead, and so is the old Saya Gray. On the surface, ‘LIE DOWN..’ is another heartbreak anthem. “Would you mention me to your family or let my name fade to grey?” she asks. Yet, Gray also accepts that she is changing as an individual. “She can look like me. She won’t feel like me,” she repeats over and over like a promise. The single is an ethereal, deconstructed version of Gray’s 2023 ‘PREYING MANTIS !’, a fast-paced track buzzing with industrial noises and electric guitar. Reimagining her own words, Gray brings new life to her work, demonstrating how her musical identity continues to transform and grow.

SAYA is the bold frontier for Gray’s personal metamorphoses. Despite her total control over artistic production, Gray is surprisingly off-line in her day-to-day and often uses magazine interviews as an intermediary to the public. We, thus, get to know Gray intimately through her work, and SAYA is merely one piece of her story.